Our question this
month is based on a very common experience. It is
also an important question, which confronts all of us
who would like to conquer an impulse or a desire, who
would like to change themselves and their character
but find it so difficult. We know what is wrong and
yet, when the time comes, we are unable to stop
ourselves from doing the wrong action. This can
happen for very small things and also for things
which have a crucial impact on our lives.
When we are quiet, by
ourselves, we feel that we will not indulge in wrong
movements or repeat our mistakes. But as soon as the
occasion arises, not only do we forget our
resolutions, but even begin to find justifications
and excuses for our indulgence. And the whole cycle
repeats itself over and over again. We sometimes
wonder why this is so.
Here the Mother
explains the reasons for such behaviour, and very
beautifully describes the psychological states and
shows the way out of the impasse.
"[You mean]
people who know that they are doing foolish
things, who are conscious, but who are not able
to refrain from them, because their mind does not
have enough strength to check them?..."
Mind and the
Impulses
"But the mind
never has sufficient strength to check them! For
the mind is an instrument made to see all things
from all sides. Then how can you expect to have a
will strong enough to resist an impulse when the
mind looks at it first from this side and then
from that side? And then it says: "After all,
it is like that and why should it not be like
that?" And so, where is your will?…
As I said there,
it always finds a way to explain everything,
justify everything and give admirable reasons for
all things… "
Mind and its
Excuses
"For even the
most beautiful theories, even if one knows
mentally many things and holds admirable
principles, that is not sufficiently strong to
create a will capable of resisting an impulse. At
one time you are quite determined, you have
decided that it would be thus - for example, that
you would not do such a thing: it is settled, you
will not do it - but how is it that suddenly (you
do not know how or why nor what has happened),
you have not decided anything at all! And then
you immediately find in yourself an excellent
reason for doing the thing... Among others, there
is a certain kind of excuse which is always given:
"Well, if I do it this time, at least I
shall be convinced that it is very bad and I
shall do it no longer and this will be the last
time." It is the prettiest excuse one always
gives to oneself: "This is the last time I
am doing it. This time, I am doing it to
understand perfectly that it is bad and that it
must not be done and I shall not do it any more.
This is the last time." Every time, it is
the last time! and you begin again.
Of course there
are some who have less clear ideas and who say to
themselves: "After all, why don't I want to
do it? These are theories, they are principles
that might not be true. If I have this impulse,
what is it that tells me that this impulse is not
better than a theory?..." It is not for them
the last time. It is something they accept as
quite natural.
Between these two
extremes there are all the possibilities. But the
most dangerous of all is to say: "Well, I am
doing it once more this time, that will purify me
of this. Afterwards I shall no longer do it."
Now the purification is never enough! "
How to Conquer
the Desires
"It happens
only when you have decided: "Well, this time,
I am going to try not to do it, and I shall not
do it, I shall apply all my strength and I shall
not do it." Even if you have just a little
success, it is much. Not a big success, but just
a small success, a very partial success: you do
not carry out what you yearn to do; but the
yearning, the desire, the passion is still there
and that produces whirls within, but outside you
resist, "I shall not do it, I shall not move;
even if I have to bind myself hand and foot, I
shall not do it." It is a partial success -
but it is a great victory because, due to this,
next time you will be able to do a little more.
That is to say, instead of holding all the
violent passions within yourself, you can begin
calming them a little; and you will calm them
slowly at first, with difficulty. They will
remain long, they will come back, they will
trouble you, vex you, produce in you a great
disgust, all that, but if you resist well and say:
"No, I shall carry out nothing; whatever the
cost, I shall not carry out anything; I will stay
like a rock", then little by little, little
by little, that thins out, thins out and you
begin to learn the second attitude: "Now I
want my consciousness to be above those things.
There will still be many battles but if my
consciousness stands above that, little by little
there will come a time when this will return no
longer." And then there is a timme when you
feel that you are absolutely free: you do not
even perceive it, and then that is all. It may
take a long time, it may come soon: that depends
on the strength of character, on the sincerity of
the aspiration. But even for people who have just
a little sincerity, if they subject themselves to
this process, they succeed. It takes time. They
succeed in the first item: in not expressing. All
forces upon earth tend towards expressing
themselves. These forces come with the object of
manifesting themselves and if you place a barrier
and refuse expression, they may try to beat
against the barrier for a time, but in the end,
they will tire themselves out and not being
manifested, they will withdraw and leave you
quiet."
The Right
Order
"So you must
never say: "I shall first purify my thought,
purify my body, purify my vital and then later I
shall purify my action." That is the normal
order, but it never succeeds. The effective order
is to begin from the outside: "The very
first thing is that I do not do it, and
afterwards, I desire it no longer and next I
close my doors completely to all impulses: they
no longer exist for me, I am now outside all that."
This is the true order, the order that is
effective. First, not to do it. And then you will
no longer desire and after that it will go out of
your consciousness completely."
- The Mother
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